As is often the case, as we get older, the things that we do begin to blur together into bigger questions about why we’re on the planet, how we can best use our time and how we wake each morning and make the most of our day.

Today’s words share what I’ve been up to for a week and a half, beginning on a Sunday around 4 pm when my girlfriend, Marilyn, and I went to visit Theresa, age 95, who I hadn’t seen for months.

SHORT STORY TO BRING YOU UP TO SPEED

I began my long friendship with Theresa when I worked at a local fitness club. She was in her 80’s then but I was inspired by her continual activity level and one day, out of the blue, asked if she’d like to meet me at the beach for a walk.

She was surprised and shocked that the ‘Fitness Director’ wanted to walk with HER but she didn’t understand…I was the one who was honored!

We walked often after that and then my husband at the time and I began to visit her every Sunday. I was intrigued and fascinated by her stories of war-torn Germany and her resiliency throughout.

Our walks weren’t always easy, however. She was very hard…very German, very negative about how things were in the world, especially in America. I often wanted to suggest she go back to Germany if she didn’t like it here. But, I knew our visits gave her something to look forward to and she enjoyed our company so we continued to walk every Sunday.

WHAT CHANGED

Then, when I went through a divorce (about 9 years ago), I just couldn’t handle the negativity of her being. I’d go to visit in a good mood and leave terribly upset and depressed. In my vulnerability, I seemed to absorb her words and attitude. As I know now, everything IS energy and things DO affect us, especially if we’re not strong enough to maintain our boundaries.

My ex-husband, John, continued seeing her for awhile but, eventually, Theresa’s grandson made her uncomfortable with visitors and John stopped seeing her as well.

Time went on…

Oh, the grandson? That’s where this story starts being about money.

When I first started seeing Theresa, her 52-year-old daughter, Gerda, who had had multiple aneurisms, had managed to dig up the son she gave away for adoption several decades prior. When Gerda passed away at 55, the grandson stepped into the picture…to wait for his inheritance…and wait he has done.

WHEN THE UNIVERSE SPEAKS

Early this summer, Theresa re-entered my mind and my heart heavily. So much so that I stopped by to check on her one day. What I found was exactly what I was afraid of finding…a lonely 95-year-old woman whose grandson had never stepped in as one who really cares. Oh, she had called him but he never answered his cell. Here’s the trip: HE LIVED RIGHT BEHIND HER!!

That afternoon, I spent quite a bit of time with her. She was overjoyed to see me (didn’t even ask why I stopped coming around thankfully…at 95 I guess you don’t care about those things) and I promised to come see her after I got back from Oregon.

LAST SUNDAY’S SHOCK

Well, as is often the case for me, coming back from vacation and getting re-situated into life can take a few days. It took me almost two weeks to get back to see Theresa. When my girlfriend, Marilyn, and I went to see her around 4 pm a week and a half ago but her front door was closed, I knew something was wrong. She NEVER closes her front door if the weather is nice. “The kitty likes the fresh air.”

We drove away for an errand but my heart was sick. At the store I called her number. She answered, obviously weak and sick. My breath caught and I told her I was coming back and to please answer the door.

When we went back to the house, I had to call her again to open the door. When she finally did, oh my goodness, what we found. She had a huge wound on her lower leg and needed to go to the hospital immediately. I believe she would have died within a few days from the systemic infection that was starting to move through her body.

WHERE WAS THE GRANDSON?

He was waiting for the money. She knows it. A great-granddaughter drops food off occasionally but that’s about it. No one takes care of the yard or visits her at all.

WHERE ARE WE NOW?

I have been working in two visits to the hospital each day. Why? Because I must. Because when she sees me she smiles. Because the grandson isn’t. It took him 3 days just to realize she was in the hospital and I didn’t call on purpose because I wanted social services to see for themselves…and they are.

THE MONEY LESSONS

Theresa’s expressed a lot of feelings and thoughts over the past many days and I wanted to just share what has been coming up for me about what she has shared. Not that what you’re about to read is new…just reminders for us all.

1) Money doesn’t make you happy. She has been lonely for a very long time with few, if any, friends who visit. Daily she tells me she just wants to go to sleep and die.

LESSON: Invest in friendships as much or more than you invest in financial assets. Friends feed you when you’re hungry, not money.

2) Blood relationships don’t equal love and care. Theresa would really love it if the grandson (in his 40’s) would take better care of her, tend the property that he lives on for free, and show some appreciation of what he is about to inherit.

LESSON: Money, or the anticipation of it, doesn’t buy you love. Only true friendships bring you love.

3) Always listen to your intuition. For whatever reason, my gut knew I needed to go back and tend to her. I’m grateful beyond belief to have this time with her.

LESSON: We often second guess our intuitive thoughts and feelings. We do this in every aspect of our lives…and we do it too often with money. If an investment feels wrong…don’t do it. And if someone close to you has a gut feeling about something you’re about to get yourself into, take the time to listen.

I think the biggest challenge for me this past week and a half is my realization of how our culture doesn’t seem to appreciate and value the older, wiser versions of ourselves. Theresa moved from the hospital to a skilled nursing facility on Monday and I am overwhelmed by the many individuals who need some tender touch and conversation. I walk by their doors and ache to spend a few minutes with each one.

WEALTH WORK:

The next time you’re feeling lonely or down or depressed? Just go visit a few older people and see what happens. Gather your own lessons to share and know you’re doing a really wonderful, purposeful thing. And on that day, visiting those people IS your purpose.

Just something else to think about…