It’s hard to believe that next Thursday, a week from today, is Thanksgiving and that the holidays are ‘upon us’ as they say. Sometimes it really does feel like things are upon us in terms of keeping up with the to-do lists and a whole lot more. What if we could reframe how we go into the holidays so they were as enjoyable as possible for each of us?

I was thinking about this last night on my way home from spending 5 days in an adorable log cabin in upper Michigan (during deer season!) with a girlfriend. Then I started thinking about all of the people I have talked to over the years who, for one reason or another, don’t like having to get together with their families during the holidays. It’s usually due to some variation of, “my family is just nuts,” or, “My family drinks too much and then they fight,” or something else along this vein.

Perhaps today’s blog will help you be able to create a more meaningful experience this holiday season. Here are my thoughts.

 

1. Spend some time thinking about the parts of YOU you like and I don’t mean your ankles or your hair. I mean the values and personality traits you bring to the world around you. Things like honesty, grace, smiling, being courteous, having integrity, hard working, going with the flow, etc.
2. Once you’ve thought about it a bit, take a good old pen and piece of paper and write those things down.
3. Now, ask yourself this questions, “How could I use the most valuable aspects of who I am to touch the most valuable parts of those I will be spending time with?”

You see…this way you can focus on the GOOD things about you and the GOOD things about your family members instead of what you don’t like about them or why you don’t want to be with them.

I personally like many things about who I am turning out to be:-) and I have noticed that when I bring my best parts out into the world to play, the world plays back with me in splendid ways. It is often when we are being our best selves, regardless of the situation, that we get what we really want in life handed to us on a silver platter, so to speak.

A Short Diversion…My Airplane Story

Yesterday, I flew back from Michigan starting off in Green Bay, WI, through Chicago, through Los Angeles and finally, landing last night at O’Dark Hundred (aka 11:30 pm) in Santa Barbara. My girlfriend and I had a little ticket mishap and ended up sitting in two different places in the Chicago to LA flight. No biggy since we both planned on sleeping most of the way and I had a great book to read that I’ll tell you about soon.

The flight was packed…people moving this way and that, trying to be nice but you could tell people were stressed and tired. I went to sit down in seat 17D and the gal in the 17E said, “You probably don’t want to sit there. Someone spilled water on the seat so it’s all wet.” Hmm, OK. I tapped a flight attendant on her shoulder and told her of the situation and suggested I would be fine with a blanket to sit on. (At this point I could tell she was grateful I wasn’t mad and I was happy to do my part in getting the plane airborne. One of things I love about me is that I’m easy going when it comes to stuff like this:-).

Long story short, a mechanic was on his way for something else and he’d just grab another seat. I told her it was completely unnecessary but she insisted.

I stood in the aisle waiting for said seat…eventually being the only one standing. Have you ever been the only one standing in the aisle on a big flight? It’s interesting is all I have to say!

Well, during all the standing and waiting, someone pointed to a man in the emergency row of seats in front on mine and said, “He’s the guy who spilled the water.” Evidently someone had bumped his arm. I teased him a bit…even suggested that we switch seats (which he was willing to do) but assured him I was just fine where I was…and I was.

Finally, the mechanic came WITHOUT the seat  and I smiled at the flight attendant who grabbed aforementioned blanket, folded it nicely and set it in my seat. I was happy to be sitting.

The flight was uneventful. I read a lot, listened to music and just wiled the hours away. About an hour before we landed, I heard the man who had spilled the water ask a flight attendant for a blanket because he was cold there by the window. She said she didn’t have one and suggested he get his coat but it was tucked away out of reach.

I smiled to myself, pulled the blanket out from under my biggest asset and tossed it to him gently. He turned around, smiled and gave me a huge thank you. All I could think of was how miraculous the Universe is in its ability to provide for us. After all, the man had offered sincerely to let me sit in his roomy emergency row seat and I had declined. I loved showing him that even though he thought he messed up, he really hadn’t. His best part came through and played with my best.

Back To Your Holiday Season

It’s really up to you how valuable you want to make your holiday family gatherings. Choosing how you want to SPEND the time you’re with your family is no different than choosing how to spend your money. If you do so consciously and with positive intentions, chances are the results are a heck of a lot more positive than if you do so unconsciously and without the best of intention in your choices.

So, have a great Thanksgiving next week. I’ll be sending you happy turkey (or tofu) thoughts and wishing for nothing better than your best showing up for whatever gathering you happen to be attending.

We only have so much time on this earth…spend it wisely.