Someone sent this to me the other day and I couldn’t help but post it here for you.
We all wonder about the ‘stimulus’ packages that the government puts into place. Ever wondered how they really work? Here you go:
It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle and streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody is in debt and living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her “services” on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything.
No one earned anything…
However, the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a “stimulus package” works.
Whether you get a regular allowance, have a part-time job, or your parents give you money whenever you ask, you’ve no doubt figured out by now that if you spend that money impulsively, you often find your wallet or purse empty when you really need or want something.
So, to help you take good care of your money (which translates into taking good care of yourself), here are some savings tips especially designed for you.
Savings Tips for Teens
The first thing to “get” is that to always HAVE money, you have to pay ATTENTION to it. If you don’t, it’s gone quicker than the checkout person can say, “Is that cash or credit?”
A great way to help you pay attention to your money is to keep track of your spending for a week or two. Get yourself a little notebook and write it all down (yes, everything). The longer you can track your spending, the clearer your existing spending habits will be. Let’s take a quick look at your money personality. Which one of the next three “personalities” describes you?
1) You don’t spend money regularly but when you do, you spend it on large ticket items.
2) You mindlessly spend little amounts of money every day, often not realizing how much you’re spending until it’s too late.
3) You spend a little here and a little there, often agonizing over every purchase.
If you’re one of the first two, you are definitely a spender and you might find that you are out of money more often than you’d like.
If you’re the third type, you’re probably a natural ‘saver’ and savers almost always have money for the things they need or want. If you’re a saver, you’re already analyzing your purchases and you know where your money goes. This is a good thing. Just note that savers can also miss opportunities that come their way because they’re so busy saving they forget they need to invest that money to make it grow as well.
If you are a spender, here are some specific saving tips to make sure YOU always have money for the things YOU need and want, too. (Savers, you might want to do these too!)
TIP #1: USE A CHECKBOOK REGISTER TO TRACK YOUR SPENDING
Yes, most adults and even teens use debit cards now (in the US) and because a debit card is so small, it easily fits into your wallet. This means that you aren’t set up to write down the details of each transaction. Things like check number, date, who the check was written to, the amount of the check and finally, the running balance. In the “old” days when most of us had checkbook registers, we knew how much money we had in our bank accounts because we kept track.
Nowadays, we are omitting this important step and often don’t know, really, how much money is in our account. Yes, we check the balance often online, but this is not the best way to track your money (ask any wealthy person).
When you write it down, and keep your balance up to date, you get a clear picture of your spending patterns and habits (and saving money is all about habits!). You’ll notice that you spend differently when you track your spending in more detail. A normal checkbook register easily fits into a purse or bag. But if you’re a guy and/or you don’t have room for a full-size register, try printing up something like this that fits in your pocket. This is 4.5″ x 2…about the size of an iPhone or other smart phone.
Tip #2: DEVELOP FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE
All over the web, there are tons of tips telling you (the teen) not to carry very much cash. It’s assumed that if you don’t have it, you won’t spend it. But the truth is you’ll actually spend more when you’re using your debit card or a credit card.
Wealthy people ALWAYS carry a a lot of cash because they like to see where their money is going. It makes it more “real”. The thing is…they don’t spend it on every little thing they think they want or need.
Here’s what to do:
a) Decide how much cash is safe to carry in your wallet.
b) When you want to buy something, ask yourself this question, “Can I do without it today?” If you can, don’t buy it. Most of the time you’ll quickly forget about the item and you’ll have saved the money you would have otherwise wasted.
c) If you’re saving up for a larger purchase, make sure you deposit money into your savings account on a regular basis so it can accumulate safely. Only when you have more than the amount you need should you buy the thing you’ve been saving up to buy.
Tip #3: PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR MINUTES AND TEXTS
In other words, know your phone plan! If you are the one who’s responsible for your cell phone bill (and ESPECIALLY if you’re not), watch your minutes and texts. You do not want to experience the shock of a higher than expected phone bill. Keeping tabs on your minutes and texts help keep your phone bill in line each month and helps keep you in line with your parents too!
Tip #4: TAKE YOUR OWN LUNCH
Taking your own lunch from home is a lot healthier and a whole lot less expensive. Adults in financial trouble quickly admit that eating out is often their biggest mistake financially. Once they stop eating out all of the time, it’s amazing at how easy it is to pay their other expenses AND have a little money to save and invest each month. If you start this money-saving habit now, you’ll be a lot less stressed later.
Tip #5: EDUCATE THYSELF
You’re rarely going to learn about money, saving, investing, creating businesses, etc., in school or at home. So, if you want to be financially successful in life, it’s up to YOU to teach yourself about these important topics. Spend your school breaks at the library reading financial books that adults read. It’s the best investment you can make in your future. Better yet, form an investment club at school and learn together. (And if that’s not cool, then do it in private… because having money is cool.)
Tip #6: MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY
Making money is different than EARNING money. When you earn it, you are trading your time and energy for money. You work an hour and get paid for an hour.
When you MAKE it, you’re working lots of hours building businesses and then getting paid over and over and over again for that same hour. There’s nothing sweeter than learning how to write your own paycheck when you’re young. By doing this, you’ll always be the CEO of your own life and you’ll never be dependent on a job.
OTHER THINGS TO DO
There are hundreds of great websites with simple ways to cut your expenses and save money. Spend some of your Facebook time learning about money and how to invest it. Learn how to get and keep more money in YOUR pockets rather than putting it into others’ pockets. Be the one others come to for money, not the other way around. Life will be a whole lot more enjoyable this way.
If you have any tips for teens, bring ’em on. There’s plenty to go around! (Money, that is!)
Negative Economic Environment, that is. So many people are struggling these days. They have either lost their jobs and can’t find another one, having to take work that doesn’t pay well enough or their own business is down.
The thing is, with the advent of the internet as a way to make a living, and a good living at that, there is no reason to be struggling these days. Yes, it takes some figuring out but as my mom always said, if it’s worth putting in the time, get to work and stop complaining. You’ll be there quicker than you think.
Why the internet?
What you have to understand is this: people who market their programs, products and services on the internet do so because they realize the power of the web to drive potential customers to them. This is a good thing.
Someone told me that Bill Gates said something like, “In the future, there are going to be two kinds of businesses: those who market online and those that went out of business.”
I believe this is a pretty accurate depiction of what is happening in the world these days.
The funny thing that I notice on the cruise each year is that even if someone isbrand new to internet marketing, they are thrilled with the potential of attracting new customers with the web. This makes the cruise environment so positive. Every one is just excited and happy to be there.
The beginners realize that it’s simply a matter of applying the right knowledge to the right technology for their business and they will be successful. And most of the time, they come back on the cruise the following year and we find out how great they’ve done with the information they learned on the previous year’s cruise. Makes you kinda want to join me on next year’s cruise, huh?
Well, here are several reasons why…
First, if you have an existing business, you must have a presence on the web now if you’re going to make it in that business. There are simply too many people who search for what they need on the web these days. If you’re not on the web, people aren’t going to find you.
Second, if you are struggling financially because of ‘the economy’, I’m here to say that more and more people have found profitable niche’s on the Internet and are doing very well now. Even though the idea of learning a whole new way of doing business may seem daunting at first, there are thousands upon thousands of great programs online that can help you get up and running pretty quickly. If you want to know more, just send me an email!
Lastly, let’s talk about our kids. If you haven’t noticed, things have changed over the past decade. It’s no longer viable for our children to be raised with the idea that they just have to get good grades, and get good, secure (hello!) jobs and work at those jobs until they retire. This life doesn’t exist anymore and we have to start raising our children differently. We must expose them to the many ways they can make money online and since they’re using the technology already, it’s easy for them.
If you’re new to this alternative way of thinking, I urge you to go here: http://www.shootingthesacredcows.com and watch Robert Kiyasaki on the subject of going to school and getting a job. And if you have teens, please invite them to watch this information with you. It could make a difference in the way they plan their futures and how financially successful they end up as adults.
After going on this Internet Marketing Cruise the past three years, I can say, honestly, that I’ve never met more positive, creative people looking forward to their futures. And the great thing is that many of them are already passing these traits on to their children.
People like:
Amanda Van der Gulik and her husband Rob of Teaching Children about Money. Their children Xanthe (age 8) and Quinn (age 6) already understand about ideas and making money and serving others.
Mike and Christal are showing their daughter, Nicole, a lifestyle that allows them to take her where they want when they want, all because daddy makes lots of money on the internet. Oh, and this also allows them both to be parents who can actually participate in their children’s lives.
And there were several 20-somethings there who are making great money already, too. I’m so proud of them. There’s one, and you’ll learn his name soon enough, who is helping me create a new program we plan to offer you starting in July.
Here’s a hint, and I’ve hinted at it before…
What if, over a six-month period of time, we could teach your teen (age 15 and up) how to not just start a business online, but help him or her create 1) enough money to pay you back for the program over those six months, but 2) earn enough money to join us (with you, of course) on next year’s Internet Marketing Cruise to highlight what he or she created?
And what if one of the teens in the program (which will be limited to 25 the first time around) had the opportunity to WIN a cabin on that cruise with points for extra effort, reaching goal posts, etc.?
Want to get your teens involved in THIS? Want to tag along when they come on the cruise to meet some of the big guys (and gals?). Want to learn right along side of them?
Well, that’s what we have planned. Stay tuned for a whole lot more. And if you know you and your teen have to be involved (and you should), send us an email with the subject line, “We Want In!” and we’ll add you to the list of parents who have already said they wanted to get their teens involved.
Since somehow the New Year got to be about change, I thought I’d chime in with my ten cents worth (inflation…advice has gotten more expensive but still only worth what it means to you:-).
Almost every human being alive has something he or she would like to experience in life…we call these things dreams, goals, wishes, wants or even desire. Whatever you call them, they are usually things you don’t currently have.
These ‘things’ can be literal things, like a new car or a relationship, or they can be experiences, like travel, fun, play, or even emotions like joy, happiness or love.
Whatever they are (I’m about to tell you something zillions of people have said before), they’re fairly easy to have. And all it takes to have them is one thing. Well, maybe not just one thing…but basically one thing followed by one other thing to support the first thing.
Wanting What Other People Have – Life Mistake #1
Here you are, living your life. You look around at other people living their lives and you think you see something that THEY have that YOU don’t (first big life mistake). You see…most of the things that you think other people really have, they don’t. Or they don’t enjoy them and guess what? THEY secretly want something YOU have.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting something you don’t have. It’s just that I want you to want it for the right reasons…not because someone else has it. I want you to really have thought out WHY you want whatever it is so that you are very clear because it takes clarity to create this new thing in your life.
Thinking That Other People Have It Better Than You – Life Mistake #2
We often think that bad things only happen to US and that those OTHER people are living better lives (with all the things that they have that we don’t – see Mistake #1). Not so and no one has ever said it better than Josh Shipp. Here he is for your enjoyment!
No Where To Go
One of my favorite ah-hahs in life has to be when I discovered years ago that there was no where to go. Literally! There’s no place to get to. But human beings strive to ‘get there’ anywhere.
We want to get to financial freedom.
We want to get healthy.
We want to get fit, lean, strong, whatever.
We want to have that job title.
We wan to earn that certain salary.
We want to be in the most romantic relationship with the best looking person.
We want to have the perfect kid.
Whatever it is, once we have it, we’re there! Right? Wrong.
This is what I noticed in my late 30’s and into my 40’s…OMG, there is no place to go. I was simply where I was and it was up to me to make it great! To this day, I love being where I am…most of the time. When I’m not, I have simply forgotten the lesson and have to be reminded.
Creating Change Is Just One Thing (Followed By One Other Thing)
Are you ready for the one thing that’s required for any change to ever happen in your life? I mean really ready? OK, here is is. All change requires is a strong, well-thought out, clear…
DECISION
Yup, that’s all it takes. Yes, there’s having an awareness that something needs to change or having a desire to experience something new in your life, etc. But once you know what it is you want or want to change (which is wanting something other than what you have), you simply have to make a decision to get it or make it happen. Once you make the decision, and I mean really make the decision, it seems like things just fall into place naturally. At least this is my experience and hey, that’s all I can speak from.
The Thing That Follows The Decision
OK, you know how sometimes you live your life paying attention to what you’re doing and other times you’re don’t?
Have you ever noticed that during the times you are very present that life seems to go smoother and you sail through minutes and hours and days effortlessly?
Well, the thing that supports the DECISION is simple…and I call it…
MINDFULLNESS
When you’re mindful of what you’re doing, you’re making choices that support the decision. Often when you’re not mindful, you don’t. I wrote about something I call “pre-decisions” a few weeks ago. Pre-decisions are simply steps that ensure mindfulness in the future, even if you’re not:-). If you missed that post, click on the link and wonder over and read it.
So, here’s your Happy New Year Gift…Let’s call it The Gift Of Change.
If you do these couple of activities, and use this wisdom, I promise you’ll have a lot more success at changing things in your life than you will if you try and follow processes with zillions of steps that so many other people read about. Those articles always just cause me to roll my eyes and not finish reading the information because it’s so overwhelming.
The zillions of steps you’ll need to take for change will happen naturally and organically if you just do these couple of things.
First…
Change Activity #1:
Write down ONE thing you want and WHY you want it. Be as crystal clear about the WHY as you can possibly get. And if there’s any hesitation in your gut about wanting it…you don’t want it badly enough to make it happen. It has to so strong and so clear that nothing will cause you to change your mind.
By the way, did you notice I didn’t ask you to write down all of your goals? Or write down 10 things? Just one at a time is plenty.
Change Activity #2:
Find a place to sit quietly by yourself. Think about this thing. Think about what it will take to make happen…not in terms of the amount of work but the amount of surrendering to it you’ll need to do. Think about this thing in terms of your clarity and your why from activity #1.
When you’re ready, make THE DECISION.
Then smile. Know that you’ve taken the next best step to creating that change in your life, bringing that experience into your life, having that thing that you really want.
Once you’ve made The Decision, it’s time for the mindfulness. Notice how you feel, notice what you say about the thing (maybe best at first to keep it to yourself rather than spread it around. Just see how THAT feels. This helps make sure you made the decision for YOU).
Then start to notice how you take little steps toward this thing each day without even really thinking about it.
Mindful Sticky Note
Tips To Stay Mindful
This may sound silly but just put notes up around your house, in your car, on your desk, in the bathroom that say, “MINDFUL” on them. All I can say is thank goodness for sticky notes!
Once you get the hang of it, you won’t need so many of these reminders but they are the most wonderful thing.
They will remind you to think before spending money on something you don’t need or want (you knew I’d get that in there somewhere…after all it IS a blog about financial wisdom), think before you choose something other than what will move you toward the object/subject of your decision, etc.
Change…In Summary
It’s simple…
If you live in a country where you’re free to make changes in your life, then you have the power to change your life and have something you want. (And though inherently we are all born with the ability to be free thinkers, we’re not all raised to understand and believe this and if you don’t believe it..well…it isn’t so.)
Choose something you want to change or something you want to experience or something you want in your life.
Be crystal clear about wanting it and why.
Make the decision to make it happen.
Be mindful as you take the steps to bring it about.
Enjoy the process along the way (which is the main reason behind the mindfulness in the first place).
MOVIE TIP: If you have Netflix, rent The Flowering of Human Consciousness with Eckhart Tolle. He is the author of The Power of Now which I loved and recommend often.
So, Happy New Year. Happy Today. Happy Moment and all the moments that will follow for you.
How does it make you feel? What goes through your mind?
Do you enjoy setting goals? Do you dread setting goals?
Do you do anything to keep from having to think about, talk about or write down your goals?
Depending on the type of person you are, goals can be helpful or hurtful. They can help direct your energy toward an accomplishment you’d like to experience or they can make you feel all tied up in knots.
For me, it’s the latter. I’ve never understood them. I’ve never enjoyed doing them. I’ve never found them useful and I certainly don’t judge my success as a living, breathing, human being by them. But many people do.
Now don’t get me wrong, I DO actually sit down fairly regularly and think about what I’d like for myself, my business, etc. I write these thing down and even look back over them on a fairly regular basis. After all, if Stanford University says that it takes writing goals down on a regular basis in order for them to come true, well, by all means, let’s write them down! 🙂
The thing is, for me, they don’t drive me. For other people that I know, they are indeed the driver. These goal-oriented people strive each day to reach closer to their goals. It seems to give them a sense of purpose each day. But for people who don’t ‘get’ the whole goal thing, there is another way.
First, you have to understand that if you’re not a goal-oriented, goal-centered person, you’re probably what I call a process-oriented, process-centered person. You love the process of life, you enjoy learning and doing and creating and noticing and smelling and, well, you get the idea. And you know which kind of person you are just by reading these words.
Regardless of which type of person you are relative to goals and goal setting, I’m going to invite you to try a different process this year.
All Important Life Question
Instead of setting goals this year, ask yourself one simple question:
Do you want to DO the following year like you’ve done this year
or would you like to do the coming year differently?
If you DO want the next year to be like the last, then proceed to do things like you did them last year. And if this is your choice, great work knowing that you like what, and how, you’re doing life and all that it entails.
If you DO NOT want to do next year like the last one, well, you have a few steps to take. And the first step is another question:
What DO you want to be doing next year?
For many people, this simple question can bring up a myriad of emotions:
Fear
Anxiety
Stress (which Eckert Tolle says is simply not wanting to be where you are)
Dread
Overwhelm
Or any number of other emotions.
Why the emotions? Because we don’t LIKE goals. We don’t UNDERSTAND goals. In high school and college, when my teachers came in and said we were going to learn how to set short and long-term goals, I just rolled my eyes and said, under my breath, “Oh, goody. Here we go again with the goals.”
I’d do the activity but I’d never really DO the activity. Even back then my gut told me that setting goals weren’t important FOR ME. But they are for others.
Answering the first question:
For me, I have answered the main question above, “No, I want to do life differently next year.”
Answer the second questions:
I want more movement. I want to be outside more. I want to swim in the ocean (a warm ocean). I want to write more and create more. I want to do more of what makes people happy (make gluten-free cookies and muffins, believe it or not:-).
OK, that’s all for now.
How will YOU answer the question? Just something else to think about this holiday season. I wish you all of the happiness you can be aware of between the spaces of everything going on.
Theresa finally passed away this past Monday. It was a good thing. Wait ’til you read what happened.
But first…
Last night, I stopped in to help a friend put together a table because her husband fell and broke his arm last week (on Christmas lights!), and I ended up staying for a yummy dinner with them. It was splendid.
One of the highlights of the evening was when my bestest friend, Peggy, shared a Christmas letter from a friend. The humor in the man’s words was simple but you couldn’t help but smile and laugh out loud. She said it’s the only letter she reads each year because it’s so funny.
So that got me thinking, of course. What IS it that prompts someone to read something someone has written? And no, this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve contemplated this all-important question. I was thinking about it in terms of the holidays.
The world seems so busy right now, doing ‘holiday things’, and I’m not sure that the regular blog article is enticing enough to pull you away from what you’re doing long enough to make a difference or to touch you in some way.
But I’m going to try anyway!
Back to Theresa
If you’re just coming in on this story, let me set the stage for you. And even if you read the first blog about Theresa I did a while back, there’s probably tidbits here for you, too.
In 1992, I met Theresa, age 81, at a local health club where I was the Fitness Director (loved that job!). I started walking on the beach with her and we became great friends. I was 37. We were a very odd couple.
She’d come over with her husband, a master jeweler, and their young daughter, Gerda, on a boat from Germany. Oh, the story of that trip! What I remember was her being starved for fruit and vegetables those longs weeks between Germany and New York City, where they landed.
Those beach walks weren’t just walks. They were movies. Of the war. Of living through bombings. Of the pain of her husband dying too early. Of the struggles of coming to America, having a sponsor, finding a new place in a new culture, to call home.
At some point, I started visiting her at home, helping her with little things or just simply sitting and visiting. She took great pride in preparing lemonade or tea and some type of little sweet for us to share.
In the summer we sat on your well-manicured patio, full of flowers and scents and her handiwork. In the winter, we sat in her oddly arranged living room. Imagine a very old, yellowish couch with a long, cheap coffee table in front and too close to it and two single chairs in front of the couch flanking the coffee table. You could barely get to the couch but it was always that way and unless her grandson has changed it since she died on Monday, it’s that way now.
I eventually started bringing my husband, John, on Sundays and well, it just got to be our Sunday thing. “When are we going to go see Theresa?” one of us would ask. We’d work it into the day, call her to let her know when we’d be there, and on we’d go.
Over the years, however, Theresa got more and more hostile towards America and humanity in general. She was critical of pretty much everything. I chalked it up to both her husband and daughter dying in their mid-50’s and the sheer weight of being alone for all of those years.
Nowadays, we have tools and support groups to help people to find purpose and pleasure again, but the mindset she brought with her from Germany and the culture she knew didn’t leave room for that. She was just angry inside. And this anger was seeping into me each time we visited.
Fast forward to 2002
With a divorce in the process, and Theresa becoming increasingly negative, I just didn’t have the tools yet to protect myself. The negativity I felt when I left her home on Sundays was far greater than the guilt I felt from not visiting her and I slowly stopped seeing her altogether. I NEVER stopped thinking about her, however, and each time I passed by her home, my heart wanted to stop. But I couldn’t…yet.
Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
I had an appointment a few miles from my house. One of my roommates dropped me off because I decided I wanted to walk home for exercise that day. This walk took me two blocks from Theresa’s home.
The knocking I couldn’t ignore
The thoughts of her had gotten stronger over the past few months and I could no longer neglect the tugging at my heart. I turned the corner, walked to her home, rang her door bell and was greeted by the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen.
She invited me in, we chatted, she was grateful to have company. She was even lonelier than I remembered. I realized she was struggling with her memory a bit and had to remind her of things we’d done together before it all fell into place for her. I guess at 95 we’re entitled to forget a few things! She was ecstatic at the possibility of having company who cared about her again.
The reunion was sweet. I guess at 95 we’re entitled to forget a few things! The best part? She didn’t ask why I had stopped visiting. THAT was a blessing.
I explained that I was going to Oregon for three weeks and that I’d be home on Sept. 14th. I told her that as soon as I was home, I’d come by and help her with some projects and visit again.
NOTE: Between 2002 and 2010, she had had a second hip replacement, a couple of knee operations, fallen a few times and more. Her health was terrible and the once vibrant woman who walked miles, was using a walker to move about her world.
SECOND NOTE: Sometime around 2001, her grandson (the son her daughter had given up for adoption), had arrived upon the scene because the daughter had gone in search of him before she died. I think the grandson did his best to take care of a grandmother he never really knew, but the bond that she had hoped so desperately to develop, according to her, never did. I don’t blame him for this…she is one hard woman to get close to and deal with. I can only imagine what the last many years have been like for him.
On with the story
I came home from my trip and it took me a few days to get my life together after being away so long. The following Sunday, my girlfriend, Marilyn, and I went to visit Theresa. And that’s where the current story began, and ended, on Monday.
We found Theresa, after some work on our parts, with a gaping wound in her leg that needed emergency care. Our planned visit turned into hours in the hospital. I could never have known what the fateful Sunday would entail for Theresa or myself. Who could have known that that would be the last time she saw her kitty, Ricky, or the home that she loved so dearly.
She spent a week in the hospital and then moved to a skilled nursing facility. It was clear to all of us that her body was never going to heal.
She constantly said she wanted to die. I encouraged her to stop taking her medicine but you know what? It’s one thing to SAY you want to die (translation: I don’t want to wake up tomorrow) but something entirely different to take steps towards that end. She knew it. I knew it. We talked about it openly.
Before I left for Baltimore last weekend, I had a fateful visit with her lovely doctor, Eric. We talked opening about what she wanted. He suggested hospice and I eagerly agreed. I gave him the grandson’s phone number and he called, suggesting hospice as the next step. Every part of my body was crossed! I knew it was the next right step in Theresa’s journey.
End of the story…sort of
While I was in Baltimore last weekend, I got the call. She would be moved into Serenity House here in Santa Barbara, on Friday. I was thrilled and my heart leaped with relief. Marilyn was visiting her while I was away and kept telling Theresa I would be back on Monday. I would be back on Monday. I would be back on Monday. Thoughts of her dominated every recess of my mind while I was away.
A Monday I will never forget
I got home too exhausted to visit (though I will always wish I had) on Sunday. I called Monday morning and Karen told me she was close. I told her I had two appointments and I’d be there as quickly as I was able and to please tell Theresa I was coming. I kept saying out loud, “Theresa, wait…just a few hours.”
After my appointments, at about 2 pm, I hightailed it to Serenity House. About a mile from the facility, I had the strangest experience. My whole body took a deep breath…and I wasn’t the one who did it.
Sidebar…I don’t speed or drive in a hurry. But after that deep breath, I couldn’t get there fast enough.
I parked. I walked in and told them who I was. She hurried me to Theresa’s room. (I had been here before with my golf teacher years ago so it was quite familiar.)
I did what I always did when I saw Theresa. I put my right hand on her left cheek and cupped it to caress her cheek. She wasn’t in a state that any of us would call cognizant, but she was still alive…and then she wasn’t.
As the gal walked me over the other side of her bed and got me a chair so that I could hold her hand, we both realized she had taken her last breath when I had touched her.
She had waited for me.
Tears of joy. Tears of sadness. Tears of regret at having had to go to Baltimore THAT weekend. Tears of knowing that life is so precious. Tears of every sort of emotion and color and experience seemingly possible streamed from my eyes on and off for some time, and still do.
Why this story now?
Because Christmas and Hanukkah are filled with the idea of gifts. Theresa, and spending almost every day for the past three months with her, was the most unexpected gift I could have ever imagined, or asked for. I’m still unwrapping them and I have a feeling the unwrapping will continue for quite some time.
What I really learned
I know that the only thing that really fills MY heart is when I help someone fill theirs. This is not a new lesson, mind you. It’s the SAME lesson we all learn and the sooner we learn it, the more peace and joy we seem to experience while we’re alive.
I’m thankful to have learned it long ago and grateful to continually have the opportunity to practice the lesson. I’m always so in awe of how many ways this lesson manifests itself in our lives.
Reflection
At this moment, sipping some decaf coffee at 7 am in the morning, writing this story for you to enjoy, I can look down and see the wedding ring that Theresa wore for close to 75 years. Her husband had crafted the ring for her at some point but I don’t recall how old the ring actually is. All I know is that I want to wear it forever…as a reminder to go visit some other old person who finds my smiles and touch as much of a blessing, and comfort, as Theresa did the past three months.
I told her once that I never visited her out of obligation…I only came to see her because I wanted to. She smiled and always thanked me for visiting. I’m actually the only one she would spend any amount of time with. Once she said to me, “If I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t have anyone.” If THAT doesn’t entice you to continue visiting someone in need, what would?
So…Happy Holidays to you and everyone YOU smile at and touch on a regular basis. Just remember, it’s not the gifts you buy in a store with money that count. It’s the gift of yourself that you give to others that really matters.
