In her Time Magazine article, How to Teach Kids About Money (Jan. 12, 2010) which isn’t really what the article was about to begin with), Barbara Kiviat talks about the fact that teaching financial literacy to kids doesn’t work and why. Lewis Mandell, who evidently has ‘studied’ financial literacy programs for 15 years, says, “We need to figure out how to do this the right way.”
Hello! There is a right way and I’ve been doing it for years. Want to know why financial literacy programs don’t work? I’ll tell you…because they are BORING and IRRELEVANT to the kids who are being forced to sit through them.
You see, most education is taught using auditory methodology, i.e., the teachers attempt to teach by ‘talking’ to students who are supposed to be sitting in their desks paying attention. The main problem with this situation is that less than 11% of us learn by listening. We learn primarily by seeing and by doing which is commonly referred to in Accelerated Learning as Visual and Kinesthetic.
When you examine how the majority of financial literacy programs and curriculums are presented to kids and teens, it is taught AT them; not presented in fun or entertaining and hardly ever is it taught through kinesthetic methods. It is not relevant to them yet and they are simply bored with the whole idea. Not a good context to teach what is perhaps the most ‘valuable’ information and life-skill they need to succeed in life.
So to ANSWER the question that Barbara asks in her headline, How to teach kids about money, here’s what you do…
First, and foremost, you stop talking about it and have kids experience what it feels like to get paid, have taxes taken out of their paychecks before they receive them, make them pay of adult expenses and stage events like car crashes that eat up their savings (the lesson: never let your account get to zero!).
Children must practice ‘paying themselves first’ so that they can experience the thrill of investing in their first asset which then pays them passive income (money they don’t have to trade their time and energy for) for as long as the asset is viable. After all, financial freedom does not come from having a steady paycheck or saving; financial freedom is the result of having enough assets paying you more than enough money to live the lifestyle you want for as long as you want.
Have teens experience what it’s like to invest in real estate, a business and the stock market and know that sometimes these ‘three pillars of wealth’ make you money and sometimes they doesn’t. It’s just part of being able to pave your own way in life so you never have to work for another human being unless you want to.
Our current education systems, for the most part, is busy creating mediocre-quality employees and soldiers who do as they are told and yet we continue to hear the outcry of, “We must create more jobs!” It’s entrepreneurs who are empowered with the knowledge and skill to go for it, be their own bosses, think outside of the box that are going to create all those jobs; not the 22-year old college graduate who was been brainwashed by an ignorant society that still believes that college is ‘the’ way to a successful life instead of simply ‘a’ way.
Next, you put children and teens in charge of a percentage of the money that is used to raise them. Instead of parents spending money ON their children, they a portion of that money THROUGH them. This way they get plenty of financial practice before they move out and their financial choices really matter. Let’s face it, no practice, no skill and we all know where no financial skill has gotten us as a nation.
Next, as adults, we must recognize the power of practicing what we preach and start setting the best financial responsible example we can for our children. We can not tell them to do one thing while do another. Our largest role model, the federal government (an Uncle at that) regularly spends more money than it brings in and that speaks volumes about whether or not you can live life living on more than you make. If it’s OK for Uncle Sam, why isn’t it OK for our kids as well?
Lastly, we stop making money mean something about who we are as human beings. Money doesn’t make us smarter or better or thinner or more worthy. Money simply makes us more of what we already are.
The Bottom line…the sooner we teach our children that money is simply a tool to reach their dreams AND we start modeling the habits, choices and behavior that leads to financial security, the sooner we can go from a society that is financially stressed and in debt to a culture that is financially responsible and secure.
When that magical 13th birthday happens and your ‘child’ transforms into a ‘teen’, everything seems to change. At least, we make up that it does. Nothing changes, however, except the continual growing up that our children (hopefully) inevitably do.
One this is for sure though. The earlier you expose them to information (any information), the quicker they learn it AND the easier it is for them to accept that information as matter of fact. Kinda like brushing their teeth!
Money, and learning to make, use and invest it wisely, is one of those subjects that are best taught early but, because so many parents (for so many reasons) do not know how to or just don’t expose their children to the financial basics they need, sometimes you have to take a different route to the same goal.
The goal: being financially savvy adults.
The route: here’s ONE suggestion:
PAY YOUR CHILDREN TO READ FINANCIAL BOOKS!
Yup, you read that right and I’ve talked about this before. Most children love money because they understand that it buys stuff, ‘piddlyjunk’ to be specific (stuff that either goes DOWN in value or has NO value once purchased). What they don’t get intrinsically, unless it’s modeled for them, are the saving and investing pieces.
So if you’ve realized you haven’t done the best job in the financial parenting department, it’s time to get on the ball. Go buy (or check out from the library) a few financial books. Here are a few I always recommend:
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker
Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Rich Dad, Poor Dad for Teens by Robert Kiyosaki
The New Totally Awesome Money Books for Kids by Arthur Bochner, Rose Bochner, and Adriane G. Berg (available on Amazon)
Once you have a book or two ready (so they can choose), here’s what you do.
First, open up the conversation by relating money to something they like. These are called Enrolling Questions and I talk about them in great detail in The Ultimate Allowance. They sound like, “So, how would you like to learn how to have enough money to always have what you need and want?” or “I know you like to have a lot of freedom. Learning how to have more than enough money in your life is the key to that freedom. Would you like to learn how?” Stuff like that. The point is to get them interested.
Next, let him/her know that you have an opportunity to learn and earn. Explain that you’re going to supply a number of money books (it’s great if YOU read them first by the way so you know what’s in them) and for every book they read, you’ll pay them _______. I suggest at least $25 (it’s worth it!) but you can modify to fit your budget. Once they finish the book, they have to do a three page (at least) report on the basic information in the book and then, (here’s my favorite part) have an open conversation with you about how they can apply the information to their lives now and in the future.
Now here’s where it gets challenging on your part. DO NOT start preaching to them or telling them, “If only I had ______ (you fill in the blank).” You want them to be open to having these amazing conversations about money with you. If they ask about your experience or you want to share, ASK if they want to hear about it first.
One of the basic premises behind Accelerated Learning (how we teach all of our programs) is “Ask, Don’t Tell.” In other words, assume they know the answer already and just explore what they know before you go trying to tell them anything. YOU don’t like to be told stuff. Neither do your kids.
So that’s it. Pick a book. Introduce the opportunity. Let them read, do a book report and have a great conversation and then pay ’em. I promise you it will be one of the best investment decisions you ever make.
The practice of yoga is designed to offer a space to contemplate and observe our lives in a nonjudgment way that encourages transformation if that is desired. The idea of nonjudgmental observation of the ways you handle and ‘deal with’ money can also lead to transformation, if you let it and if you want it.
The question I often ask my clients is, “Do you really want to change? Is it worth it to you to go about the inner work to see why you keep choosing the financial storms you live in or are you just fooling yourself into thinking you want to change?”
I know, I know. You’re wondering if I have lost my rocker (as my mom would say) and gone off the deep end (also what my mom would say) into another world all together, but stay with me here. Remember that one of my objectives is always to get you to think differently and if thinking the way you have been thinking about money has brought you pain and suffering, perhaps thinking in a different way may bring some relief.
The first thing to know, and own, is that we are all in charge of making everything up and we choose, either consciously or subconsciously, the exact path we experience in life.
The challenge is that we often don’t realize we’ve chosen something until we’re almost ‘there’ and then we realize we don’t WANT to go ‘there.’
Ask yourself this question, “In terms of my current financial situation, how much of it am I making mean something that isn’t serving me physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? How much of what I am living could be changed instantaneously simply by choosing a new meaning?”
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are in debt, whether a little or a lot.
Let’s say that you make the fact that you have that debt mean something about you as a person; you’re not good with money, you’re not responsible, you’re not as good as your friends who have no debt (you might be very surprised to find out that most adults DO have some debt), you’ll never be secure in your future, and on and on and on. Daily, you let what you make money MEAN about you erode your self-esteem, your self-worth, weigh heavy on your mind, cause you health problems because of the stress you’re putting yourself under.
Let’s say, however, that while you’re getting yourself out of debt and learning the financial skills you want to know to do money differently, you decide NOT to make the fact that you’re in debt mean all of those things that you interpret as stressful and NOT to let the debt make you feel less than the amazing human being you are? Could you now move forward with a clearer mind, be more open to information and opportunities, sleep better, take better care of your body, etc.? I submit that you could.
Here’s a little financial yoga to help you transform your current stressful experience with money (if that’s what you’re experiencing) into one that is a little more joyful, appreciative and supportive.
Right now (well, right after you read through these instructions), sit for 10 minutes. Get a timer if you have to but sit for 10 minutes. Close your eyes and imagine sitting in a circle and outside of that circle is the debt, or whatever other financial challenge you are interpreting in a way that isn’t serving you. (For me it was a house I couldn’t afford to keep in Arizona last year so I chose to let it go and not make it mean anything about me as a human being.)
See the debt, or situation, as separate from you, which it is, and begin to realize that it can’t physically affect you or hurt you or touch you, unless you choose for it to do so.
This does NOT mean that you don’t take whatever situation seriously or act responsibly. But, once you remove the stress and make it stop meaning something that it is not, you can then take the necessary steps to mitigate the situation. It also means that while you’re fixing the situation, you’re not letting the situation harm you any longer. You can even repeat one of these affirmations:
I am not my debt. I am independent of the amount of money I owe to others.
The simple fact is, we don’t have debtors prison any longer (not sure if this is a good thing), we are only human and as human being we do tend toward doing things right now (read this amazing article to see why: WhyJohnnyCan’tSaveForRetirement) and I do believe that even though we’re the ones who USE the credit cards, it has been made too easy for us when most adults never received the proper education or the ability to say NO to buying things now and hopefully paying for them later.
The point is to begin seeing that money doesn’t have to define you. Period. You are you. The debt is the debt. It’s up to you to keep them separate and figure out how to improve your financial situation with the grace and peace that is inside each of us to utilize.
The Shiny Object Syndrome: What Keeps Us From Our Dreams
So there you are, journal and pen in hand. This year it’s going to be different.
You’d written down your primary goal for the coming year and by golly, this year you’re going to read it, or else!
And the, along comes ‘the shiny object’. You know, that thing that looks so enticing that you just have to take a little teeny detour to check it out.
Only problem is that once you get close enough to check it out you realize it’s not really as shiny as you thought it was.
So, off you go, back to your original goal but now it’s days, weeks or even months since you’ve been on this path and you have to get your bearing back but it feels so good and right to be working on your goal again.
Until, yup, you guessed it. Out of the corner of your eye you spot ANOTHER shiny object and there you go again.
What happens when we allow ourselves to be distracted, sidetracked (literally, back and forth and back and forth) instead of heading directly toward our goal is that we delay reaching that goal for days, months or years. Or, worse, we never reach it at all.
The question is, “How DO you stay focused on that original goal?” Let’s look at some of the strategies you can put into place to do just that.
1) Get a Coach
Having a business or life coach is top two strategies successful people use to accomplish their goals. Having someone to be accountable to helps you stay on track, keeps you focused and helps you avoid going off to check out those shiny object.
Finding a mentor, business or life coach is much easier than it may sound. The first way is to make a list of successful people you know and ask if they might be willing to exchange mentoring or coaching for you helping them with their business or projects. Always ask how you can help them in exchange for them helping you.
Check out the internet for great coaching resourses. The web is full of coaches ready and willing to help you reach your goals. For those of us who serve as coaches to others, it’s our highest honor to help you be successful. We love helping people succeed! (Always get a couple of referrals before you start working with someone and ask for a complementary session to get a feel for their style and process.
2) Join a Mastermind Group.
A mastermind group is a collective of minds who not only keep you accountable, they provide invaluable feedback, suggestions and guidance along the way. It’s a business support group that allows you to go together to places you might not be able to go so easily on your own.
3) Write your goals down daily first thing in the morning on the top of your ‘to do’ list (you DO have a to do list, right?). This will keep it in the forefront of your mind every day, all day long.
4) Draw a picture of what it will look like to reach this goal and put it where you can see it every day. Put this same picture in several places in your office and/or home to remind you where you decided to go.
5) Find a friend or business associate to help you stay on course. Most of us are prone to the ‘shiny object syndrome’ during our lives. Simply admit it and put a system in place to help you cope with it.
Call your friend and say, “I’ve spotted a shiny object! Can you help me talk through it for a few minutes and then remind me of my goals?”
This way you have a fun way of dealing with all of the great ideas that come your way without letting them take you away from your main goals.
6) Keep a Shiny Object Journal.
This is where you simply write the idea, concept, opportunity or project down for safe keeping. This way you won’t forget it and you can even go back and visit it once in a while to add little details if you choose to think about it once and a while, but it doesn’t take you off your predetermined path.
The key to dealing with the ‘shiny object syndrome’ is to put systems and strategies in place that help you deal with it before it happens. This way you, 1) recognize it’s happening and 2) initiate the strategy that works best for you to keep you focused.
So here’s your next steps:
1) Decide which of the above (or or more) will work best for you.
2) Contact the person/people who can help you put the systems in place.
3) Role-play the system so you know exactly how it will go.
4) Write an agreement with yourself and the other person/people so everyone is on the same page.
5) Put it into action and use it regularly.
There you have it. You will no longer be distracted by another shiny object again!
Next stop is Goal Completion! Enjoy it, savor it, visualize it finished and remember, shiny objects are fun to look at briefly, but if you look at them long enough, they will blind you from your goals.
So there you are, journal and pen in hand. Your goals are poised to take their first step toward becoming a reality. You’re about to officially write them down and commit to making them happen.
This year it’s going to be different. This year you’re going to reach your goals, or else!
The Shiny Object Syndrome
And then, along comes… ‘the shiny object’. You know…that thing that looks so enticing that you just have to take a teeny, tiny detour to check it out.
Only problem is that once you get close enough to check it out, you realize it’s not really as shiny as you thought it was.
So, off you go, back to your original goal but now it’s days, weeks or even months since you’ve been on this path. You have to get your bearings back but it feels so right to be working on your goals again.
Until…yup, you guessed it. Out of the corner of your eye you spot ANOTHER shiny object and off you go again.
What happens when we allow ourselves to be distracted, sidetracked (literally, back and forth and back and forth) instead of heading directly toward a goal is that we delay reaching our goals for days, months or even years. Or, worse, we never reach it at all.
The question is, “How do you stay focused on that original goal?” Let’s look at some of the powerful strategies you can put into place to do just that.
1) Get a Coach.
Having a business or life coach is one of the top two strategies successful people use to accomplish their goals. Having someone to be accountable to helps you stay on track, keeps you focused and helps you avoid going off to check out those shiny objects.
Finding a mentor, business or life coach is much easier than it may sound. The first step is to make a list of successful people you know who may be willing to mentor or coach you. It’s best to find someone who has been successful in the area you want to be successful in. And always ask how you can help them in exchange for them helping you.
Next, check out the internet for great coaching resourses. The web is overflowing with business and life coaches ready and willing to help you reach your goals. For those of us who serve as coaches, it’s our highest honor to help you be successful. We love helping people succeed! (Always get at least two referrals before you start working with someone and ask for a complementary session to get a feel for their style and process.)
2) Join a Mastermind Group.
A mastermind group is a collective of minds who not only keep you accountable, they provide invaluable feedback, suggestions and guidance along the way. It’s a business support group that allows you to go together to places you might not be able to go so easily on your own.
3) Write your goals regularly.
Take a few seconds every morning to write down your main goals at the top of your ‘to do’ list (you DO have a to do list, right?). This will keep it in the forefront of your mind every day, all day long.
4) Create a Vision Board of your goals.
Create a picture (by drawing or using images) of what it will look like to reach your goal or goals and put this picture where you can see it every day. Put this same picture in several places in your office and/or home to remind you where you really want to go and what you really want to create for yourself.
5) Find a friend or business associate to help you stay on course.
Most of us are prone to the ‘shiny object syndrome’ at some point during our lives. Admit it and put a system in place to help you deal with it.
Call a good friend or business associate and say, “I’ve spotted a shiny object! Can you help me talk through it for a few minutes and then remind me of my goals?”
This way you have a fun way of dealing with all of the great ideas that come your way without letting them take you away from your main goals.
6) Keep a Shiny Object Journal.
This is where you simply write the idea, concept, opportunity or project down for safe keeping. This way you won’t forget it and you can even go back and visit it once in a while to add little details if you choose to think about it once and a while, but it doesn’t take you off your predetermined path.
The key to dealing with the ‘shiny object syndrome’ is to put systems and strategies in place that help you deal with it before it happens. This way you, 1) recognize it’s happening and 2) initiate the strategy that works best for you to keep you focused.
So here are your next steps:
Decide which one (or more) of the above will work best for you.
Contact the person/people who can help you put the systems in place.
Role-play the system so you know exactly how it will go.
Write an agreement with yourself and the other person/people so everyone is on the same page.
Put it into action and use it regularly.
There you have it. You will no longer be distracted by another shiny object again!
Next stop is Goal Completion! Enjoy it, savor it, visualize it finished! Remember, shiny objects are fun to look at briefly, but if you look at them too long, they will blind you from your goals.
Coming soon..How to recognize a shiny object for what it is.
OK, so there’s are hundreds of financial words out there floating around and many of them can be a little intimidating at first. But here’s the thing…when you want to get really good at something, do you usually let a few letters get in your way?
Think about the last time you decided you wanted to learn a new skill or hobby. Did you let the language of that skill or hobby get in the way? Probably not. You just learned what you could, asked people who knew more than you to explain what you didn’t understand, and slowly but surely, you got good at your new skill or hobby.
The same thing works with money…except that we entangle who we are in the world with our net worth, bank account, credit cards, debt, number of houses we own, and on and on.
It seems everyone wants to be financially free right now! Or at least as soon as possible but appears that many aren’t willing to do what it takes to get that way.
The process isn’t difficult, but it does take some education, learning a new language, letting go of your preconceived beliefs that learning how to handle and grow money is difficult. It’s not. It’s just learning one thing and then applying it to your life and then repeating those steps over and over again.
So, next time you hear or read a financial word of sentence that you don’t understand, instead of shivering and avoiding it, write it down, look it up, call a financial advisor or ask your local bank employee. My money’s on the idea that there’s a lot of folks out there who are more than happy to help you on this financial freedom journey of yours.
And if you have children, take them on this journey as well.
If you saw the wonderful movie, August Rush, about the musically gifted (that is an understatement) little boy who grew up in a home with other boys without families but knew down deep that his parents were alive, then you remember his saying…
“The music’s all around us…all we have to do it listen.”
Well, what if the MONEY was all around us…and all we had to do was look for is?”
It’s one thing to grew up thinking that we have to get good grades in high school in order to get good grades in college in order to get a good secure job which doesn’t exist for the most part anymore. It’s entirely another thing to learn early on that that isn’t the truth.
Preparing your children to go to college isn’t a bad thing. Leading them to think that it’s the only way they are going to be successful in life is child abuse. And here’s why…
When children grow up to be adults who think that they must depend on others for their own livelihood, it’s like preparing them to be in jail for the rest of their lives.
To be dependent on others is one of the worst ways to live. Instead, let’s empower our children to make their own way, use their natural born genius to build products and services that make the world a better place and more.
In order to do this you have to begin instilling these ideas and philosophies early and if you, the parent or guardian didn’t grow up with these ideas, it can be rough going at first.
The best way to teach your children a different way if you can’t set the example yourself is to ask for the help of another adult who can. Help your child find a mentor, help a friend who owns a business, makes money on the internet, has a product or service business that works with other businesses.
Here’s just one example of thousands who figured out a different way while they were young…
In allowing your child to see another way, you provide him or her with endless possibilities in terms of being able to take care of themselves.
