by Elisabeth Donati | Sep 16, 2010 | Financial Literacy, Financial Literacy Principles, Latest News, Uncategorized
Have you ever been one type of person, yet know that being that type of person wasn’t going to ever get you where you ‘said’ you wanted to actually be? Financially or other wise?
Well, changing seems to require some magic on our parts and often we’re just not equipped with the right tricks up our sleeves to do the changing.
But then along comes a book…a fabulous book. And in that book, you begin to see what it actually takes to change yourself, change your relationships, change the culture, even change the WORLD!!!
I just finished one such book and I have to thank Stacey Sherman, one of our wise Creative Wealth Coaches, for the suggestion. THANK YOU!
The book is SWITCH: How to Change Things When Change is Hard” by Chip Heath and Dan Heath. Financial changes seem to be particularly hard for people which made the book all that more fascinating.
Riders and Elephants
This is the main theme of the book and it’s taken from University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt says that our emotional side is an Elephant and our rational side is its Rider. Though it seems to the onlooker that the Rider is the leader, he can’t really accomplish any change without the willingness and effort of the Elephant.
The book goes into great depth about what has to happen in order for us to change ourselves, our organizations and even the world. I loved the book so much that the next few articles are going to explore different aspects of the book.
Finding The Bright Spots
One of the things that I really loved was their piece on looking at WHAT IS ALREADY WORKING to find clues on how to make change happen more organically and easier. They call this “Looking for the bright spots.”
So, this is where we’re going to start and I need your help to get the ball going. This blog post is a participatory post and I need your help.
I’m going to pose a 3 questions and if you would do me the honor of posting your valuable answers via the comments section, I’d appreciate it very much! This way the bright spots will be here for all to see. Here goes…
Question # 1:
When is saving money easy for you? In other words, do you need to be in a particular situation, have a certain type of job, live in a certain type of place, be making a certain amount of money, be in a special mindset, have a powerful goal to work for? Whatever it is, WHEN is the act of SAVING easy for you?
Question # 2:
When you have made changes in your financial habits in the past, what was the motivating factor? Did you set a goal, take a class and learn new information, get a lecture from a parent, etc. What exactly motivated you to actually make that change?
Question # 3:
What financial habit comes easy for you and why? Is is saving a percentage of your paycheck, shopping sales, using coupons, etc.? And it can be any habit that involves money.
OK, that’s all we’re going to do today. I can’t wait to read all of your answers!
by Elisabeth Donati | Aug 26, 2010 | Latest News, Uncategorized
Let’s say that you’re reading a book one day and you begin to deeply ponder the information presented in that book. Let’s say THAT book leads you to ANOTHER book on the same subject and pretty soon, your entire life is surrounded by books on that particular subject, all you notice around you is people talking about that subject and every thought you have is centered on that subject.
This is one aspect of what’s commonly referred to as Reticular Activation. You know…that’s when your reticular is activated! OK, basically, RA is when you become aware of something to a point that you see it everywhere. Like when I was pregnant with my son, Andrew. Everywhere I looked I saw other pregnant women. Now I rarely see them at all unless they are right in front of me!
Financial literacy and money has been that way for me, and most others in this fascinating field of financial education. Well, fascinating and frustrating at the same time.
Fascinating because the ways in which money controls different aspects of our lives never ceases to amaze me. Frustrating because it seems like humanity is destined to relegate financial education to what I call ‘elective’ status and not ‘critical if you’re going to be responsible for yourself’ status. I have my opinions about why this is so but that’s not what I want to explore today.
All The Rage
Distraction Du Jou
What I want to explore is the all too commonplace rush to become rich quickly these days. Let’s call it the FINANCIAL FREEDOM RAGE and it’s everywhere. It used to be that people went to school, got jobs, saved up their money, did some investing, retired, blah, blah, blah. Now it seems that everywhere you look (I look) you see seminars on how to make a killing by investing in real estate or workshops on special stock market strategies or the latest and greatest internet affiliate marketing strategy.
Now don’t get me wrong. You CAN make money in all of these areas but it’s the RUSH, the FERVER, the HYSTERIA around it I’m referring to. It’s as if there is nothing else in our lives but this and until we get ‘this’, we can’t relax, enjoy our lives, remember we have families, take a breath or just chill.
The definition of ‘rage’ encompasses the idea of intense anger and sometimes madness. How fitting as it seems people are mad these days with the idea that they have to become financially free tomorrow or else.
Or else what, exactly? Where the heck do we think we’re going so fast and quite honestly, what would you do it you WERE financially free tomorrow?
Before you answer that question, let’s just put the definition of financial freedom on the table. According to Robert Kiyosaki, and others, financial freedom occurs at a time when you have more money coming INTO your life from your investments passively (in other words, you aren’t trading your time and energy for the money anymore) than you have going OUT for the expenses of your CHOSEN lifestyle. That means there is no set dollar amount that means you are free; it’s all completely arbitrary.
So back to the question…what WOULD you do it you didn’t have to go to work tomorrow? I mean, really think about the answer(s) to that question. What WOULD you do? And for how long would you do it?
Let’s say you start to paint. How long would that last? What would happen if you got really good at it? What would you do with all of the paintings? Would you start to sell them to friends, start a gallery, start teaching others how to paint? See where this is going?
Or you’d travel. Once you visited every country on Earth, then what? Would you do it again? Would you write a book on how to travel safely, learn how to market the book so that others could have your great experience, do little seminars on your adventures?
Or maybe you’d just spend more time with your friends, volunteer your time to help the homeless kids in your city, get fed up with what wasn’t being done and start your own nonprofit (this is sounding familiar) so that you could do a better job and pretty soon you’re ‘working’ 60 hours a week again!
Wait! I though you were FREE now, free to do exactly what you wanted with your time and energy? What happened? I think that if most people actually woke up financially free tomorrow they’d have no idea what to do with themselves.
You see, we’re ALWAYS free to choose what to do with our time and energy, every moment of every day. And if you don’t think so, sit down with Viktor Frankl’s “A Man’s Search for Meaning” sometime in the near future. This book will stop you in your tracks (I’ve been stopped here for a long time:-) and provoke very deep questions for you to ponder along every step of your journey here on planet Earth.
So where IS the fire and what IS the rush?
Josh Shipp, aka Hey Josh, said it best in one of the little videos I saw him in. He said, and I paraphrase, “Bad things are going to happen to you.” And when those bad things happen, it’s who you choose to be during those time that really matters.
The older I get the more I observe others rushing around, not seeming to enjoy their lives (their words) and it just makes me question where the fire is and what all the rush is about.
So I’m just going to leave you today with these questions:
1) Where is the perceived fire in your life? Is is real? How do you know it’s real and how would your life be different if you changed your belief about this perceived fire.
2) What is the rush in your life that keeps you from enjoying what is right now? My own belief is that ‘the rush’ is the distraction du jour and that it keeps us from pondering the important questions and more importantly, having to deal with the answers to those questions.
Taming Your Own Financial Freedom Rage
Here’s some simple tips on how to deal with that little voice (sometimes it feels like a BIG voice) inside of you that says you must become financially free soon or else:
- Notice when you’re not noticing the little things around you: children, dirty house, flowers in your garden, your partner’s cries for a little of your love and attention. When you notice these things, stop and take a nice deep breath and smile because noticing is the first step to your ultimate freedom from the rage.
- Plan a little time each day (I know, one more thing but I promise you this one thing will begin to be a priority in your life because of the peace it brings to the other things in your life) to stop. Yes, just stop. Again, notice what’s going on around you. Notice what you smell, see, taste, feel. What’s the temperature on your skin? What sounds can you hear if you really listen? Become a ninja of life by simply giving your attention to your life.
- Notice when you seem to be rushing and making ‘mountains out of molehills’ as my Mom used to say. Remember, in the end we’re all dead anyway so stop thinking that stuff is so bloody important. It ISN’T!
- Notice when you’re happy. Notice when you are at peace. Notice what you’re doing when you notice these things and do them more often.
Most people I know and watch just don’t seem happy and content when they are rushing around constantly putting out fires and it’s very challenging to be around those people sometimes as well. By slowing down, breathing, continually taking inventory of what’s really important to you and those you love, you might just find that the fire you think you have to put out isn’t very hot and the rush to get ‘there’ ceases altogether, replaced by a quiet contemplation of simply what is at the moment.
So right now, stop, take a few deep breaths, ponder your latest rush to get to or accomplish this or that, notice any fires you think you must put out, or else, and just let it all go in exchange for a little peace and enjoyment of right now.
Now THAT is freedom.
Just something else to think about.
by Elisabeth Donati | Aug 21, 2010 | Financial Literacy, Financial Literacy Principles, Latest News, Uncategorized
Where did Piss Poor come from?
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery…….if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor”.
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . ….. .. Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!”
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof… Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
Sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive… So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
And that’s the truth…..Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
by Elisabeth Donati | Aug 18, 2010 | Latest News, Uncategorized
First, thank you ALL for your kind words of wisdom and appreciation and more. I had no idea I would spend the entire day in tears off and on!
Wisdom for Wednesday
Wise Ole' Abe
I read this this morning (do two thises make a that?:-) and thought it wise to pass along to you…
“You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people’s initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”
~ Abraham Lincoln
A note to parents: one of the biggest hinderances to becoming a responsible adult is having everything done for you as a child, including having all of your purchases and all of your needs and wants provided to you at any sort of a simple whim.
Do NOT do things for your child if he or she is old enough to do that thing for himself. When my son Andrew was growing up, as soon as I saw him try something, I knew he was, 1) ready to learn to do it and 2) ready to do it himself. At that point, I taught him and fully empowered him to do it himself simply by allowing him to do it AND refusing to do it anymore for him.
At 27 years old, he is a responsible young man who is delightful to be around. I take partial responsibility for that.
Just something to think about…
by Elisabeth Donati | Aug 17, 2010 | Financial Literacy, Latest News, Uncategorized
Thanks Alice…(in Wonderland, that is),
Have you ever gotten up in the morning and had 6 impossible thoughts before breakfast, or before getting up, but they weren’t the kinds of thoughts Alice in Wonderland was speaking of?
They were 6 things you thought impossible to fix or 6 situations you thought impossible to get out of. Or even 6 things about life or the world that were impossible to wrap your mind and/or heart around?
I dare say we all have. And I readily admit I do as well…and sometimes often.
Impossible or Just Time For a Change?
Time to cocoon
This morning is a bit contemplative for me, and I know it’s a little different to write contemplative thoughts here instead of classic financial literacy thoughts, but I suppose at 52 I can write about whatever it is I want to write about in my own blog. Isn’t that the whole point of having a blog or three?
I’m at a cross-roads with this financial literacy thing. I know in my heart it’s a good thing. I know that the information that I’ve been honored to create and disseminate has helped you because so often you tell me so. I thank you for that. It has kept me going.
But I’m reaching the end of my journey here in financial education land and I am looking for the right someone to hand it off to.
But before you shake your head in disbelief, let me share myself for a few moments.
First, I have come to realize that I am not in love with business. The business part of business bores me and this is not a good thing. Even my best friend understood this about me when she told my second husband (now my ex-husband), “Just don’t ever let her get bored!”
I am in love with creating and teaching and writing and coming up with ideas. I’m the classic E-Myth Entrepreneur who has more ideas before breakfast than she could ever accomplish in 6 lifetimes, let alone one. I would prefer to spend my days coming up with ideas and teaching than figuring out the budget or the cash flow statement or developing strategies for this and systems for that.
Second, much of what I have done for the past couple of decades has involved sitting in front of this computer. Although I exercise regularly, eat well and stay moderately fit, it is hurting my body to sit now. I must begin to move again and I must begin to move soon.
Third, I realize that turning my financial education programs, products and services into a profit making venture in the ways I envisioned it is going to take a whole lot more time, energy and money than I am willing, wanting, or able, to invest right now. The potential for my financial education creations to make a tremendous, revolutionary impact on the world is huge but it isn’t matched by my desire or ability to make it so anymore.
Lastly, I am in love with empowering others to be responsible for themselves and I love helping others make a name for themselves and get what they want.
For example, in the past year I have helped my boyfriend launch a national business, my ex create a home fitness flooring website, a friend get a product online and a whole lot more. Though I haven’t been paid in dollars, I have been overpaid in the joy it brings me to help others move forward with their projects and to see them succeed.
Empowering Oneself is Often The Most Impossible Thought
I have started asking myself questions as if I were my own coach right now. Questions like…
• What would you like to do now?
• What would give you the most joy?
• What do you need to do to take better care of yourself?
• What would make you want to get up in the morning again?
I’m not getting clear answers yet about what I DO want to do but I AM getting clear answers about what I do NOT want to be doing. Running a financial education empire is creeping over to that NOT want to be doing side of the coaching scorecard.
Quitting vs. Choosing To Stop
In my adult workshops, I teach a section I call, Life’s Cafeteria Line that I learned from Keith Cunningham, an amazingly powerful businessman and coach. The cafeteria line is where we all start out in life (and with our projects) and gradually, as time goes by, action is taken, skills are learned, etc. we make it up to the actual stuff of life that we want: money, traveling, time to play and explore, etc.
The thing about the line is that if you get out of line, you end up going back to the beginning of the line. Some people think this is a bad thing. I think it’s just a thing and though I agree with it in theory, sometimes getting out of line is the best decision for you at the time. Sometimes the best things in life aren’t even IN the cafeteria!
Now, let’s explore this famous, but easily misunderstood quote, “Quitters never win and Winners next quit.” I don’t believe that this is exactly right. Why? Because I know a lot of successful people who (and remember that everyone has their own definition of success for themselves) have made a conscious choice to stop doing something because it either wasn’t working, wasn’t serving them or they just didn’t want to do it anymore. My belief is that this is just fine. After all, it IS your life and if you don’t want to be doing something, by all means, STOP DOING IT!
The Metamorphosis
Where does all of this leave us? You and me and the rest of the people whose challenge it seems to be to empower kids, teens and adults with financial skills and information to thrive in this interesting world we’re born into?
Well, I’m not going anywhere until I find the exact right person or company who can take The Money Game® and Camp Millionaire® on with the passion it needs to cause the paradigm shift I, and many others, believe it’s meant to have in the world.
If you are that person, or know of that person, please send them my way. And yes, I am serious.
The Unwritten Next Chapter
You know that question motivational speakers ask in their seminars often? The one that goes like this…
“What would you do right now if you knew you couldn’t fail?”
Well, the idea of failing has never caused me much angst. Failing has never been a bad thing to me, and that’s a good thing I have found over the decades. This has allowed me to take on things that, as Jacob Glass says, ‘don’t work out on paper’. Jacob ‘gives himself a good talking to’ every month in Santa Barbara and many of us pay to listen to his profound and funny take on life.
So, it is time for my own personification of Absalom. I’m starting to climb into my own cocoon and discover what’s next for myself. I’ll keep you updated on the progress.
As always, just something to think about…
by Elisabeth Donati | Aug 8, 2010 | Financial Literacy, Latest News, Uncategorized, What you can do
It always strikes me as funny (in a sad sort of way:-) that parents wait until their children graduate from high school before thinking about how to teach them to manage the money they’re about to go off to college with. Someone asked me recently for some pointers about how to prepare their son who was going off to college in just a few weeks. After contemplating it for a bit, here’s what I came up with…
- First, do NOT get them a credit card…YET. They must learn how to manage their OWN money through using a debit card and checking account before they can be trusted with using other people’s money for short periods of time. Introduce them to credit cards after they have shown they are responsible for the additional pointers following this one.
- It’s critical to have a sound budget in place for your soon-to-be college student. They must know what financial responsibilities are theirs and which ones their parents are going to handle. AND they must know the consequences up front of making purchasing choices that don’t meet your approval with your money. (And YOU must stick with those consequences or they won’t learn a thing from their financial mistakes.)
- It’s important to put your son or daughter in charge of their own financial needs as soon as possible. This means taking the money you are agreeing to be responsible for providing and running it THROUGH them instead of outright buying things FOR them. Remember, it’s only through repetitive practice as something do we develop skills. Money is no different. NOTE: if you have younger ones, please consider getting a copy of The Ultimate Allowance to learn how to put a powerful allowance system into place that’s meant to teach kids about money throughout childhood.
-
Money Savvy College Students
Don’t agree to pay for everything. Most adults admit that when they had to participate in paying for at least a portion of their own college experience, they were better students and better stewards of their financial resources and they appreciated the experience a whole lot more. There’s nothing wrong with your son or daughter getting a little part-time job that will enable them to participate in their own care and feeding.
- If your soon-to-be student is moving into a dorm, there is very little he or she really needs. Agree on a budget and let THEM make ends meet. Encourage them to go to thrift stores and garage sales to find the items they need. There is no need to buy new. This teaches resourcefulness and fosters creativity in the student.
- If the student is moving into an apartment and has never purchased household items and you wish to help, again, sit down and help them (emphasis on HELP) create a budget, provide the funding you are willing to provide and let them do the purchasing. This is when the “needs vs wants” rubber really meets the road. Do NOT provide everything they need. Foster resourcefulness and creativity at every turn (even if you can afford the help them more).
- Learn to say, “I’m so sorry that you made that choice with your money. What different decision can you make in the future so that won’t happen again and you’ll have the money you need for……?”
- Last but not least, learn to say, “No, I can’t help you.” No emotion, no judgment, no letting up. Just NO.
Hope that helps because as a parent, I know you don’t want your college students to have to move home because of financial reasons! The goal is for them to move out and STAY out, not move out to eventually move home because they made a lot of financial mistakes.
Follow the guidelines above and your students will have a leg up on their peers that didn’t get any guidance from mom or dad.
