As you probably already have noticed, I don’t mind sharing with you when I’ve messed up things in my life. I’ve noticed that you enjoy knowing you’re not the only one who makes mistakes as it seems to bring us all a little closer to realizing we’re in this thing together.
Well, last weekend, we had a two-day Camp Millionaire here in Santa Barbara with a bunch of bright, fun-loving kids and teens and I messed up big time. And I know why. And even though I KNOW why, it certainly didn’t help me sleep any better the first couple of nights after the mess up.
PAINTING THE SCENARIO
You know the saying ‘The straw that broke the camels back’? Well, this was certainly the case in this situation.
I haven’t been at the top of my game physically for some time now. I have bursitis in my hip from sitting and am in pain quite a lot off and on. Well, add to that a chest cold which took my voice away for three days prior to a five-day train-the-trainer last week before the camp, and simple exhaustion from the length of the program and not sleeping well for a few weeks and it was a recipe for, well…losing it with a parent.
Here’s what happened…
We started our two day Camp Millionaire last Saturday with 18 kids, some of them wanting to be there, some of them not. Some of them ready to learn and have fun, some of them wishing they were anywhere else. And I have 6 brand new trainers who are eager to learn more, try their new teaching skills and watch how the program works with actual, real live children:-).
After a few hours, one of the moms walked in and talked to one of the new trainers who evidently suggested she needed to speak with me. About what I didn’t know. I stepped into the hall with her and asked her how I could help.
She said she was going to take her son home. I don’t remember if I asked her if he had called her before or after she said that there was a family situation that needed to be handled, but this is what I do know…
I reacted. And I reacted poorly to the news that one of the kids I worked so hard to get into our program was about to lose his chance to learn things I knew he would never learn anywhere else.
Why do I know this? Because there are many, many things I teach in Camp Millionaire and through The Money Game that aren’t taught in any financial education program anywhere. There are things I invite my participants to explore that most teachers would gasp at.
For example…I talk to the kids about rules and laws. I ask them what they are. Then I invite them to think about them this way, “Rules and laws are just someone else’s opinion of what my behavior needs to look like.” And then I invite them to ‘question everything’ and not take everything they see or hear as fact until it makes sense to them.
Why do I do this? Because this country needs to raise leaders and we’re doing a poor job of that in my mind.
Back to the backfire…
What I actually SAID to the mom was “your son is not going to learn this stuff in school.” But I didn’t use the word stuff.
What the mom got full force was my frustration at not being taught about money myself; my disgust at our country’s lack of making financial education more important than some of the other garbage our children are being forced to memorize and regurgitate that is far from relevant in their lives; my disappointment that her son was so close to getting some of the most critical information he would need to live financially successfully in life.
She got a piece of me that rarely shows its head – and I say rarely because my own rule for myself is to not be attached to who gets it and who doesn’t get it. Just show up, do my best, being my best, and let it go.
What happened next…
I knew immediately I had messed up…and I knew why. But once words are released into the world, it’s hard to take them back. I fretted about it all day.
As soon as I got home that afternoon, I sent off a heart-felt apology to her via email, doing my best to explain what had happened and that I was sorry I messed up and had no right to judge what was a viable reason to pull her son from the program. I got back a seething email from both her and her husband but, again, all I could do was apologize.
In the end, I know we’ll all get over it. It cost me two nights of sleep and much agony for several days but I slowly forgave myself…knowing that none of us is perfect, we all mess up, we learn from those mess ups… and recommitted to my nonattachment to the outcome.
So, to the mom, I send you the deepest apology possible.
To all of you, I promise to stay imperfect and humble and continue to learn from the times I am unable to give the world my best.
Hey Elisabeth–that was nice of you to appologize–but not really necessary, in my mind….what you told that mom was probably something she could benefit from hearing.
On the other hand you are also right, I think, on just doing your best to put the info out there and just let those that are meant to absorb it–do so!
I think Sedona Method’s Hale Dwoskin’s new movie “Letting Go” is really worth getting–it makes like so much easier on all fronts!
Also according to Dr Alex Lloyd and Dr Ben Johnson the Healing Codes works wonders on what ever ails you! Please feel free to look them up on the web.
The process is healing people all over the world.
Cheers! Tracy M
Elisabeth. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. I think I need to interview you for my blog, even though I try to stay 100% Canadian with my content. I “get” your story on such a deep level that the 49th parallel hardly seems relevant. If you’d consider it, please email me!
Thanks! And of course, I’d love to be interviewed!
Thanks E!… Like you always taught me, Don’t put me on a pedestal…And your right!…Thanks for sharing!
TEXAS
Violet, thanks for the comment. You have every right to be frustrated and angry. And know we have tried to get ahold of her and this is what I do know.
She is disappointed beyond being able to cope with what happened. Many of our new coaches, though I plead with them to make sure they have enough marketing money ready and to get a business partner for help them do the marketing, go into their first programs with high expectations when we all know that most things build slowly. Jamille is a lovely woman and I would put money on the fact that she simply ran out of money. Now, though there is no excuse for not calling you and dealing with it professionally, one of the other things that isn’t taught is how to be in the business world. When we fail, and we haven’t been taught or seen a good example set for us, human being often run away, tail between their legs, deathly afraid of the consequences or how even to deal with it. I know this is what happened in your situation. Her passion was obvious from the start. She volunteered at several of my camps to learn more and was so excited I can’t express it. She wanted to teach Camp Millionaire desperately and put quite a lot of money into her training and setting things up. When it didn’t work the first time, she had no where to do.
Remember, I’m not making an excuse for her. I’m explaining to you what I’m sure happened so give you another way to see her. She is scared. She is disappointed. She is embarrassed and doesn’t know how to deal with it. Often, humans don’t deal with things because they simply don’t know how.
If you can…forgive her and know she is only human and is doing the best she knows how to do. When I have an extra $290 I’ll send it to you but I don’t right now either. Financial literacy for children isn’t a very lucrative business (so far) but it’s turning around and I’m excited at our future. So in end, she is not a fraud. She is only one human wanting badly to make a difference and in her eyes she failed and there was nothing worse for her than that. In my programs I teach that there are no failures…but one camp can’t undo a lifetime of belief in failure.
…I’ve learned the Universe has a way of correcting herself… The mom will not only recall your passion one day, but may use it herself… Then humility comes full circle! I’m glad you behaved the way you did… Apologized…Forgave yourself… And moved one. It came out just the way it was supposed to! Love you always
Hello dearest Elisabeth,
You are so wonderful. We do all make mistakes, I constantly find myself putting my foot in my mouth because of my own passions to empower our kids and teens with money savvy and life empowerment skills.
And I too am deeply affected when I unintentionally hurt someone else by not thinking through my words correctly or simply not being able to express them in a way that they are fully understood.
I think you are so wonderful to share this with us and as you say to remind us that we are all learning in our lives and that we all make mistakes and to simply forgive ourselves, our intentions are what matter most, and your intention in this situation was to empower that dear teen boy with life skills and you were coming from a point of your own frustrations in our world and the way our children are being raised to fail financially and you are so appreciated. ;o)
I’m glad you were able to let go and let this out, I know it is moments like these that we can really beat ourselves up and the thing is that by doing so we are helping no one. You had the courage to share and by doing so you have empowered us to be our own better selves simply by learning from our own mistakes and most importantly forgiving ourselves.
We love you. ;o)
Thanks for being such a sweet dear friend, I’m honoured to have you as my friend. I know where your heart is and I am pleased that you have learned to forgive yourself.
Cheers…Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast! j;o)
Amanda…thank you so much for your sweet words. It is funny how sometimes the passion can backfire:-)…it’s all in what we do with it. My intention has only been to do good, as is yours. Between the two of us, we are making a huge difference in children’s lives!
See you soon (on the cruise but don’t tell anyone we’re going together or that we’re working on a fun project for them!).
Love.
Elisabeth
There is a wonderful book titled The Spirituality of Imperfection – thank you for sharing your perfectly imperfect moment.
Thanks Mayanna. I love book suggestions! And I love loving my imperfections:-). It’s the only way to be ‘perfectly’ peaceful in life I have found:-). E